Everyone is saying it’s all going to be over tomorrow and Barack Oboring and John “Main Vein” McCain will be the two to go to the general election. So, since I’ve only got a day left, here are the candidates.
Hillary Clinton
Heading for a career in porn?
Hillary Clinton is such a smart gal. She’s winning the popular vote; who would have ever thought you’d use HIllary Clinton and popular in the same sentence? She’s also got a cute fag-hag daughter and a real horny husband. I like her and will miss seeing her sensible pants suit.
Barack Obama
Original Cast Member of Baywatch
Barack Obama will, most likely, be the Democratic nominee. He’s so boring and bland though; his family is like a 21st century Cosby show. And he lives in Chicago; Chicago is the place where people too lazy to live in New York move too; it’s also the home of the Jerry Springer Show. Seriously, nothing good has come out of Chicago for a long time.
John McCain
Original Abercrombie and Fitch Model circa 1892
Well, it looks like we’re going to be in for a president that leaves cigarette burns in all the White House furniture. Seriously, I think they need to pull the good stuff out and just call Rent-A-Center. Neither of these boobs will know the difference. I found a picture of John McCain when he actually didn’t look like a flesh-colored bag of nuts and bolts. And his wife….can you imagine that monster in the East Wing? If she unwraps that super bun she has tacked to the back of her scalp, I think her face would puddle on the floor. John McCain is also from one of those useless states…the best thing that comes out of Arizona is bathtub meth.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: crystal meth, Barack Obama, Cigarette, hillary clinton, Alfred E. Newman, 14 year old boys, Arizona, Chicago, Rent-A-Center, 40 oz., Jerry Springer, Abercrombie and Fitch
